Rebuilding | A personal post
The soft chiming melody of my trusty Philips Light Alarm Clock gently awakens me. The time reads 6am. A new dawn, a new day.
It’s time to begin my morning rituals. Each morning I complete a combination of stretches, weights, yoga, walking and, perhaps most importantly for me, meditation. Today my profile on the Calm app tells me I have completed 500 meditation sessions since starting meditation a little over a year ago. I won’t lie, I’m feeling proud! This practice of breathing and quietening the mind, has consistently centred me and helped prepare me for each new day. I can now say with certainty, I am hooked on meditation and crave it daily.
A few weeks ago, as I talked to a friend about changes I’ve made in my life since March 2017, I had an epiphany. At some point during that month, I realised I was being consumed by grief; a vast avalanche of grief that followed a family tragedy two and a half years before. There were days when I literally thought I would die of heartache. I quietly struggled to keep my head above water. When I finally realised I had to save myself or drown completely, I started practicing meditation, then yoga. Every day, no matter how I felt, I would roll out of bed and start my rituals.
My epiphany was clear. The decision to save myself commenced a rebuilding process within me. With a sense of awe, I realised that for the past 13 months I have been determinedly rebuilding myself daily: physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes. I am no longer the same person I was before tragedy struck. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I guess change, like anything, is what you make of it.
I hope to continue to rise. Xx